The Life of a Crafty Queen Bee Blog

This blog is what you've been waiting for…a tale of a fabulous, crafty, funny chick!

Is it wrong to have a crush on your 57 year old surgeon? April 30, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — queenbeemegan @ 9:21 pm

I am going to say “no” because he was the best ever…actually every single person I encountered today at the hospital was nice and pretty much treated me like royalty (I expect that treatment from all people, but rarely does it happen!)  I didn’t have to bitch slap anyone or put anyone in their place today and it was kind of nice!  I’m sure you want details so here they are….

I didn’t sleep well at all last night because of nerves and Mike was up almost the entire night (he has a lovely sinus infection).  My alarm went off at 4am, I got up and took a shower.  I couldn’t wear makeup or jewelry and I did the wash and go hairdo, so needless to say, I wasn’t a pretty sight!  After saying goodbye to my doggies, Mike and I left for the hospital at 4:40am and arrived just a few minutes before 5am.  My mom met us there and she was all dressed up looking cute and had her coffee and was chirpy…too chirpy for 5am!!  I was signed in and given a pager to give to Mike and my mom so they’d know my status at all times (these bitches mean business at St. John’s!).  I was taken back to a private Pre-Op room which I must say was very, very swank.  I got to put the gown on and a hair net shadoobie and I must say I was looking very dapper!  Everyone and their uncle then came in (the OR nurses, my lovely surgeon, Dr. Easley, the drug man (aka anaesthesiologist), nurse for my iv, nurse to take my urine sample, nurse to take my blood sugar level, nurse to take my fever and check my heart and the list goes on…. The 2 hours passed quickly and I had to say goodbye to Mike and my mom and after doing so, I promptly bursted into tears.  I was doing so well all along and then the water works came on and wouldn’t stop.  I was wheeled into surgery and the last thing I remeber was them asking me if I was comfortable…

Surgery lasted a little over 3 hours becasue they were able to do the laparascopic surgery (hooray hooray).  I have 5 porthole incisions that are huge, red, bloody, grody shadoobies right now, but will heal into nice, clean, tiny scars, according to my boo (aka my surgeon).  I woke up and apparently I was amusing the nurses with my mumbo jumbo talk and asking for a brownie over and over and over again!  I was in recovery for about an hour or so and then moved to a private room again (so loving it because I don’t do well with roommates or annoying people).  The anaesthesia was waring off and I told my mom I think they broke my right shoulder.  I couldn’t even move my fingers my shoulder hurt so bad.  I started tearing up from the pain…it was worse than my incisions.  The nurse came in and informed me that the machine they used on me in surgery is called the Da Vinci machine and the surgery was basically done with me on my head…it’s the best angle for the machine to cut into me.  The gas that they blow into my nether regions travel like gravity and it must of had a pocket in my shoulder.  I have taken Gas-Ex and Percocet and my shoulder is literally more sore at this time than my stomach and vajayjay.  The nurse said the gas needs to work itself out of my body and could a few days….this is the first time I am not enjoying having gas!

After I got up and walked to avoid blood clots and made a big pee-pee in the toilet I was allowed to go home.  Mike is amazing and I am so thankful that the surgery was a success.  Four weeks of no work should be a lot of time for me to craft and scrap…so loving it!!          xoxo Megan “Easley”

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The Last Supper April 28, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — queenbeemegan @ 11:00 pm

Everyone knows that I heart food…especially chinese food, so it’s no surprise that I had chinese as my “last supper” before surgery.  Oh, how I love you sweet and sour chicken, white rice, egg rolls, honey chicken and egg drop soup!  Oh, and I can’t forget chicken and mushrooms, chicken and broccoli, bourbon chicken and the seafood delight! Paired with my 147 ounce diet coke and I am ready to rock and roll….literally “roll” out the door I am so full!!  Tomorrow is not going to be a fun day…there’s no way to sugar coat it…I can have clear liquids until noon and then at noon is when the fun begins.  I love to p-o-o-p, talk about pooping, look at my poop, journal about my poop and read my favorite book in the world, “What is Your Poo Telling You”?  BUT, I love to poop on my own terms…that being said at noon tomorrow it is go time because I have to drink a bottle of Magnesium Citrate and then Operation “Bowel Extraction Poop Chute” begins.  I have never had to take this or anything to “clean me out” or help me poop because I am soooo good at it and my mama always told me when you are good at something, you should do it!  I have no idea what to expect, but I have lots of t.p on hand as well as a new magazine for the occasion.  Wish me luck!         xoxo Megan

 

Sunday Rant about idiots April 25, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — queenbeemegan @ 6:33 pm

If you don’t want to hear me bitching, skip this post!

Ok, well, I’ve warned you…Why is it when I get up early and go to brunch with my husband on a Sunday, which by the way is supposed to be my carefree, relaxing, no need to be pissed off day of the week, I end up disliking several people??  I have now been pushed so far that I must make a list of the do’s and don’ts for eating at a buffet:

1.  Don’t cut in line.  I don’t care if you’re hungry (so am I and that is why I am waiting in line jackass), if you’re a million years old, if you’re a child or just plain stupid. Don’t do it. because I will call you out on it.

2.  Do grab a new plate if you go back for seconds…is it really that difficult to let go of that first plate?  I’m sure the separation anxiety you will feel will pass shortly…Keep your germs to yourself…please and thanks!

3.  Don’t inspect every piece of chicken.  Take one and go to the next item…are you seriously wasting my time by looking for the perfect piece of chicken?  I highly doubt the perfect piece of anything exists and if it did, it certainly wouldn’t be in St. Louis, Misery, you dumbass!

4.  Do not complain about the way the food is cooked.  This is a buffet not a 5-star restaurant.  If you don’t like the way the sausage is cooked, don’t eat the sausage, eat the freakin bacon instead!!

5.  Do watch your kids.  I am not there to baby-sit, have them run into me full force and drop my plate or be a referee for the two white-trash kiddies fighting over who gets the last blueberry muffin.  Take the time to take your kid up to the buffet while you carry the plate…don’t let them run loose like animals off a leash.

Ok, after all that headache I had a very nice meal with Mike.  We left and of course it was raining, because why wouldn’t it rain on our day together?  I wanted to stop at the Goodwill Boutique to look for some books and as we were in line, this idiot is in back of us waiting to buy a belt.  He is standing really close to me (hello, I did not offer you a piggyback ride, sir) so I stepped towards the door.  Mike paid for our stuff and the idiot who should’ve been next to pay for his belt, walks out the door with me…he stole the belt.  I was really pissed and mouthing off and Mike was getting mad at me because he was going to have to put two in this guy’s head if he responded to me mouthing off.  I watched the douchebag and he was smug as hell walking to the car with his belt in his hand.  I HATE PEOPLE WHO STEAL!  I don’t understand what gives you the right to think you can take something that doesn’t belong to you.  Worst of all, you stole from a Goodwill…pathetic isn’t even the word…                                                         xoxo Megan

 

I am a human pushpin April 17, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — queenbeemegan @ 10:15 pm

How many blood tests and ultrasounds, cat scans does one really need to go through to figure out what is wrong with my body?  I am going for a third and final opinion next week because my first two opinions are a bit conflicting…2 cysts were found and the first doctor thought it was on each of my ovaries.  The second doctor can’t be 100% sure that it is on my ovaries, it may be on a vein and that is why these cysts are so large and basically came out of nowhere because they could be attached to a wein where the blood supply is making them so large. 

At first glance, it looks like one giant cyst (where if you measured straight across it would be more than ten inches!  But upon closer inspection they actually are two separate cysts, each one about 10cm wide and 9 cm long.  This explains the eleven pound weight gain all of a sudden, the back aches and dull pain on my right side.  The dr. said they are the size of grapefruits.  One is a simple cyst, where it is all liquid and the other is a complex cyst, that has some sort of mass to it.  Surgery will remove the cysts and hopefully only the cysts…I am really praying that nothing else has to be removed or in the worst case scenario, having a hysterectomy….but I have to do what needs to be done and if they find something when they go inside, I know that it was meant to be.

There are two different surgeries, laparoscopy and laparotomy.  I am praying once again that I can have the lapascropic surgery done because it’s less painful, less recovery time and less scarring.  It would be a four week recovery time and four to five “portholes” on my stomach where they went in with the cameras.  If the laparotomy has to be done, I could be out up to eight weeks, have a long incision on my belly because they’d have to filet me like a fish and open me up. 

Pray for me, pray for my nether regions, pray for my sanity (and Mike’s…LOL) and pray for a speedy recovery.

 

Some pictures of my scrap room April 13, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — queenbeemegan @ 11:02 pm

I love, love, love paint!!

I love to be organized…rubbermaid totes for some embellishments!

My cute Pottery Barn shelves

My beloved cupboard...no, Kathryn you can't have this!

 

Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday

Filed under: Uncategorized — queenbeemegan @ 10:57 pm

I love Tuesdays…over the nasty back to work week Monday day and almost to hump day…it’s just a fun day of the week!!  Today’s topic: co-workers who annoy me.  There is a co-worker who I will call SWF (Single White Female) and she is a very bad, bad co-worker…she is at the top of the annoying list…why, do you ask?  Let me count the ways:

1.  If you are supposed to be at work at 9:30am that means you should be at your desk, ready to work and clocked in…this doesn’t mean waddling in at 9:32, 9:35 or even 9:37am.  If I can be on time, why can’t you?

2. Stop asking me where I got my purse, my shoes, my dress, my pens….stop asking me what I ate for lunch, what I did last night after I went home, what book I am reading at lunch time, who I am calling on my break…Don’t talk like me, don’t dress like me, don’t wear the same nail polish as me, don’t touch me and most of all, please don’t skin me and wear me!  Enough, Bridget Fonda!!

3. When I am speaking to someone else (I would be “A” and the other person would be “B”, do not under any circumstance give me your opinion, eavesdrop or butt into my conversation.  I do not like you, never have and never will…stop trying to be my friend…get over it and get over yourself…you are annoying and that is why I dislike you…

4. When I am on the phone or speaking to my boss, do not stand behind me and correct me, give me advice on what to do or be anywhere close to me anymore…you are like a hemmorhoid and I don’t know what else to do to you…I’ve been nice, I’ve been mean, I’ve ignored you, I’ve been real mean, I laid it out on the line that I do not like you…so why must you still be around me?  What do I need to do for you to get the drift?  Perhaps a punch in the throat, a karate chop to your knee caps…let me think of some more ideas…

Have you ever worked with someone that you literally just can’t stand?  They make you want to throw up?  That is what I have here folks….and to think I haven’t even shed light on my joke of a “supervisor” yet….   xoxo Megan

 

Sunday blahs April 11, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — queenbeemegan @ 6:04 pm

I am not feeling well today.  The end.