If you don’t want to hear me bitching, skip this post!
Ok, well, I’ve warned you…Why is it when I get up early and go to brunch with my husband on a Sunday, which by the way is supposed to be my carefree, relaxing, no need to be pissed off day of the week, I end up disliking several people?? I have now been pushed so far that I must make a list of the do’s and don’ts for eating at a buffet:
1. Don’t cut in line. I don’t care if you’re hungry (so am I and that is why I am waiting in line jackass), if you’re a million years old, if you’re a child or just plain stupid. Don’t do it. because I will call you out on it.
2. Do grab a new plate if you go back for seconds…is it really that difficult to let go of that first plate? I’m sure the separation anxiety you will feel will pass shortly…Keep your germs to yourself…please and thanks!
3. Don’t inspect every piece of chicken. Take one and go to the next item…are you seriously wasting my time by looking for the perfect piece of chicken? I highly doubt the perfect piece of anything exists and if it did, it certainly wouldn’t be in St. Louis, Misery, you dumbass!
4. Do not complain about the way the food is cooked. This is a buffet not a 5-star restaurant. If you don’t like the way the sausage is cooked, don’t eat the sausage, eat the freakin bacon instead!!
5. Do watch your kids. I am not there to baby-sit, have them run into me full force and drop my plate or be a referee for the two white-trash kiddies fighting over who gets the last blueberry muffin. Take the time to take your kid up to the buffet while you carry the plate…don’t let them run loose like animals off a leash.
Ok, after all that headache I had a very nice meal with Mike. We left and of course it was raining, because why wouldn’t it rain on our day together? I wanted to stop at the Goodwill Boutique to look for some books and as we were in line, this idiot is in back of us waiting to buy a belt. He is standing really close to me (hello, I did not offer you a piggyback ride, sir) so I stepped towards the door. Mike paid for our stuff and the idiot who should’ve been next to pay for his belt, walks out the door with me…he stole the belt. I was really pissed and mouthing off and Mike was getting mad at me because he was going to have to put two in this guy’s head if he responded to me mouthing off. I watched the douchebag and he was smug as hell walking to the car with his belt in his hand. I HATE PEOPLE WHO STEAL! I don’t understand what gives you the right to think you can take something that doesn’t belong to you. Worst of all, you stole from a Goodwill…pathetic isn’t even the word… xoxo Megan